my grandma is down here this week to just kinda hang out and its really been stressing me out. it really makes me wonder what the point of life is. and is it a right of passage to grow up and see your parents deteriorate? my dad is having a really hard time and that puts tension in the whole family. i mean, on top of these thoughts i just heard a song called then they do by trace adkins and all i can think of is if thats part of the meaning of life. to be little, grow up, fall in love, raise a family and then be done. take care of your kids so when you get old they can take care of you? it seems cruel in a sense that everyone will die and people always say the parents should go before the children but why is that? is it easier for the kids to move on with their life without the people who raised them and molded them into who they are today or is it because its harder for a mother to bury her child who she gave birth to and raised to be the person they were.  either way i believe its unbelieveably hard to handle and it makes me apprehensive about the future. i know im still young and i dont have to worry about anything anytime soon but it scares me. i dont ever want to have to bury my parents but then again i wouldnt want them to have to bury me.  i want to have a fairy tail ending, ie. fall madly in love get married have kids but whats after that? what happens after that? i guess i just have to wait and find out but ive always hated to wait. im impatient and not too fond of surprises. one day possibly it will be clear but until then im just a little worried about what the future holds for me…